Bits and pieces have always made up my life, I'm quite a chaotic person you see.
I learned to live with this constant chaos in my head, which is fine by me. I understand it most of the time and that's what I'm aiming for I guess. I've even grown to like the chaos in my head. I've never really known a complete structured life nor anything near that.
But even for me, it gets a bit too much sometimes. This often occurs on bad days...
I've had bad days in life, I've had good day great days possibly even some of the best days in my life. But I've had my fare share of bad days too.
Bad days on which I would sink lower than the ground. I've had days where I wished I could just lay myself on bed for a nap, hoping I wouldn't have to wake up to live my life further.
Thank God I did wake up, although I say that now I didn't say it back than. I tried to put an end to my problems, even in the most gruesome of ways. I'm not proud of it nor do I regret it.
I am proud of where I am now. I've been through things in life which not every teenage girl has went through in her years as a teenage. Growing up does most certainly do strange things to a person. You don't realise it at the time, but there will come a time when it's all over when you'll be able to just look back at it all, glad it's all over. Every wound leaves it's traces, each in their own way.
I grew up in 5 houses in 4 cities over 3 countries, I guess that did left a trace on me to. Now I will broaden my horizon somewhat further and hopefully Australia will help me through this stage of my life so that, one day, I will be able to look back at this part to be at peace with it and just smile. Glad that it's all over.
It made me to what I am now, and quite frankly I'm proud of it.
Lots of love
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?- Alice, Alice in Wonderland