All this bullshit, isn't what I wanted.
Things are back to as bad as they were, great.
Did I honestly think that things were going to turn out alright after all?
If I did, how foolish can you be Liza. You know to well that things never really turn out alright for you.
And yet, every morning I have to pull myself together again. Get myself out of bed, dressed, fed and of to work because that's how life goes.
Nobody cares how bad it goes you just have to be there and so I will. Admittedly I don't always manage to pull myself back together again, but I'm doing the best I can. And for the moment that's all I can do I guess.
If only I could just go back home, to where I really felt home for the first time in my life.
But things aren't that easy, I'll just have to keep finding the strength to pull myself together again every morning to get out of bed and start another day.
Sitting in a big white room alone, tilt my head back, feel the tears fall down. Close my eyes to see in the dark. I feel young, broken, so so scared. I don't wanna be here anymore. I wanne be somewhere else. Normal and free, like I used to be. But I have to stay in this big white room with little old me.
xoxo Lizzie
